Baby Basics

Unfortunately, babies don't come with instructions and often our new Moms and Dads are unprepared for both the responsibilities of caring for a baby and dealing with life's issues.

We offer our first time Moms and Dads an eight week course on parenting skills.

• Getting Ready For Baby
• Going It Alone
• Safe From The Start
• Basic Baby Care
• Quality Child Care
• First Aid Accidents & Illnesses
• Preventing Child Molestation

For more information, email programs@abigailonline.org

Just For Men

She Has Told You That She Thinks She May Be Pregnant?

Your girlfriend confides in you, "I've skipped my period and I'm afraid that I may be pregnant!"  That information can be devastating to a couple that suddenly find themselves in an unexpected pregnancy adding immediate crisis to their futures.  Abortion may seem to be the first choice.  It's sounds like a quick fix and it's legal but there are significant risks that you need to understand before you make that final decision, an informed decision. 

After the initial shock wears off, you may begin thinking about your alternatives and responsibilities as a boyfriend and prospective father.  Most women look to their boyfriends for help in deciding what to do.  You need to assure her that you will there for her, supporting her in whatever way she needs.  Express your desire to help her in making any choices that will affect the future of you both.

The first step is to determine if in fact she is pregnant and learn about your options.  Encourage her to make an appointment and then show your support by coming with her.  Remember this will impact her physically as well as emotionally.  Your visit will remain confidential and the testing is free.  One of our peer-counselors will talk with you together or if you feel more comfortable, we have a male peer-counselor who can talk with you alone.  The important thing to remember is to know and understand all of your options before making the final decision.

Options to Consider

Parenting:

Taking responsibility for your actions and providing care and support for your child is a commendable choice.  We can help by offering you free educational classes to help prepare you to be father.  These classes are offered for eight weeks and include prenatal and infant care education as well as community referrals.  Participating in these classes enable you to earn points that can then be used to purchase baby items from our baby boutique, which include baby clothes, diapers, baby food and formula as well as other baby essentials.  Occasionally we have used baby furniture.

Marry and Raise the Child Together:

Ideally the most loving act that you can do for your child is to commit to his/her mother.  Wanting to be a family and being committed to working together is the best option in these circumstances.

Adoption:

This choice is a difficult choice but a choice that is both loving and unselfish.  This decision, depending on the circumstances, may be the best one for your baby.  Adoption does not mean abandonment of your child.  Adoption mean making a plan for your child that will give him or her the future that you may not be able to provide at this time.

Abandonment:

You may feel that you have future plans that don't include a wife or a child.  Perhaps you have plans for college or to go into service.  You have the choice to abandon your child and his/her mother but is it a decision that you will feel proud of?  It is not an honorable one.

Our decisions and actions have both consequences and responsibilities.  Your girlfriend and your baby need you now regardless of whether or not you want this baby.  The fact remains, you are the father and you have an opportunity to build a lasting relationship with your child.

Abortion:

This is one of the most difficult decisions that you may ever make in your life.  It carries with it traumatic consequences, not only for the baby, but also for your girlfriend and you.  Many feel that this option hides the fact that your girlfriend is pregnant; fixes the problem; makes the problem go away.  Evidence-based research and personal conversations with dads who have made this choice have shown that many men as well as women suffer from Post Traumatic Stress Disorder.  Feelings of guilt and shame may not surface for years later but the regret is there.  This baby is a life created by two responsible individuals. This baby's life was brought about innocently, having no part in the decision of the consensual adults.  This baby now has a right to a life.  If you care about your girlfriend and the baby, you will want to protect them.  Talk to one of our peer-counselors to learn about the risks of abortion and the procedure types.

Society will tell you that this life is just a piece of tissue and that this simple procedure will eliminate all your trouble.  Think again.  Consider the following facts:  Simple tissue does not have a beating heart, brain waves, fingerprints, and unique DNA.  A woman can carry a baby with a different gender or blood type from her own.  After the moment of fertilization, nothing new is added to the baby except oxygen, nutrition, and time.  The only differences between a newborn and a preborn baby are size, level of development, environment, and degree of dependency.  All of these facts confirm the reality that you are a person worthy of protection from the moment of fertilization.

For those of you who will choose to give your baby life and plan on being a part of your child's life, we offer continued assistance.

Building Better Dads

We offer:

• Accurate Information 
• Support and Help in Finding Resources
• Referrals for medical, housing, legal needs or adoption

Are you….

• Facing an Unplanned Pregnancy?
• A Dad Who Wants to be a Better Dad?
• A Dad Struggling with Porn, Abortion, or Other Life Issues?

Guys get together to hunt, fish, and hang-out.  Why not get together to improve fathering and family skills?  Individual peer counseling or classes are available.